The Exorcist

A Personal Opinion

Written by Jason Reffell

I first saw "The Exorcist" a few months after actually owning a video recorder in 1982. I was 13 at the time.

I remember it well, for many reasons. The first being that my mother hated bad language. So my brother, who had seen the movie in the cinema, had to sit by the TV and turn off the volume when he knew Linda Blair was going to use those disgraceful expletives. The 2nd and most important reason, is because the movie changed my life. A big claim I know, but when you just become a teenager, you think you've become a man. You think you're big enough and old enough to cope with anything. I was wrong. I had seen all the so-called video nasties like Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Driller Killer; Zombie Flesh Eaters; Evil Dead; and too many others to mention. Most of those I could watch with ease. Had no effect on me at all. And I havent even turned out to be a mass murderer, and blamed it on my parents for letting me watch that kind of movie.

But when I saw The Exorcist for that first time, I was absolutely terrified. I had never been that scared before in my entire life. I couldn't sleep. If i shut my eyes, I could see the image of Linda Blair's head spinning round, or the subliminal flash of the Demon that catches everyone by suprise. But more importantly, I was furious. Furious with my brother for letting me watch it after knowing what it was like. Furious with myself for letting the movie affect me the way it did. After all, I kept trying to convince myself, "It's only a movie".

Then in 1993 I got a chance to see the movie again. I had purchased a Laserdisc Player and got the movie imported from the US. The thought of watching it again did not appeal to me at all. In my mind this movie was now a legend of movies. Something I daren't never watch again because it was so scary. But I just had too. I had a few demons of my own that needed to be cast out. That's the main reason for watching it again. I had to find out if I could. The laserdisc arrived, I got very drunk, shut myself off in my room, turned the sound up, turned off the lights and pressed play on the remote. What a feeling. When the movie was over It was like a ten ton weight had been removed from my shoulders. I felt nothing would frighten me ever again.

Since that day, I have tried my hardest to find another movie that could even get close to affecting me as much. I have failed. They DONT make movies like that any more. Dont get me wrong. Movies have unnerved me, or made me jump, or even shocked me. But nothing has got under my skin like this movie had. It has become a mission of mine to find a movie that scares me and makes me feel the way this movie did. There's nothing quite like the feeling of being completely terrified and completely safe at the same time. I dont think anything will ever come close. Except Exorcist 3 which was a perfect sequel (we'll forget about number 2 shall we). It was a very similar movie in style, with very calm and quiet moments that you knew were too quiet and that something was just around the corner. ( The moment where Lt kinderman is sitting in the confession box when the shutter opens still makes me jump to this day).

Was it the fact that I was only 13 I've wondered many times. But if that's the case, why 17 years and over 100 viewings later, does the movie still affect me. Not as much as it did I admit. But can anybody honestly say that after watching a horror/thriller a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, even 10th time, that it still gets to you, still makes you "edgy" even though you know whats going to happen. I know every line from every scene of the movie and yet it still scares me. And yet, I love it. Im passionate about it. It is a movie that will always stay close to my heart. Every time I watch it I notice something new. Some more questions that never really get answered. Like what is the significance of the photo of Regan by the side of Chris Macneil's bed, being almost exact to the image of Regan after killing Father Merrin at the end of the movie. Or the significance of the chain that is found in the excavation at the beginning of the movie, also being in Damian Karras's dreams and in Regan's room at the end of the movie.

And why in November of 1998, during screenings in Cinema's across the Uk, were certain people laughing? Is it simply because the natural instinct when faced with someting you cant cope with is to laugh!!

As Brad Dourif says in Exorcist 3, "It's the smiles that keep us going, dont you think"